Law 23 of Getting Along with Women

This is a simple law of nature, but one which is very handy:

Choose someone like yourself, and you'll get along.

Choose someone different from yourself, and IF you can get along, it will be exciting!

That's it.

The first step to getting along with women is Proper Selection. And it's a choice kind of thing.

If the woman you choose is similar to yourself, and holds similar views and values, you'll tend to get along. For example, if you're both liberals, English majors, hate exercise, and like sentimental movies, life could be occasionally boring, but you'll not fight much.

On the other hand, suppose you're a liberal, English major who hates exercise, and loves sentimental movies, and you get yourself a foreign-born woman who's a right-wing mechanical engineer, whose idea of fun is running marathons and attending the ballet. The two of you may find each other real exciting; that is, IF you can get along.

Isn't this great? You get to choose!

Knowing this important secret of the universe, go forth and prosper.

Yogi Berra Explains Jazz

AllAboutJazz.com, October 21, 2004: The following excerpt is blatently stolen from AllAboutJazz.com. There's lots more good stuff at AllAboutJazz.com, if you're interested in jazz. But this superlative interview with Yogi Berra may be of interest even if you aren't ...

Can you explain jazz? I can't, but I will. 90% of all jazz is half improvisation. The other half is the part people play while others are playing something they never played with anyone who played that part. So if you play the wrong part, its right. If you play the right part, it might be right if you play it wrong enough. But if you play it too right, it's wrong.

I don't understand. Anyone who understands jazz knows that you can't understand it. It's too complicated. That's whats so simple about it.

Do you understand it? No. That's why I can explain it. If I understood it, I wouldnt know anything about it.

Are there any great jazz players alive today? No. All the great jazz players alive today are dead. Except for the ones that are still alive. But so many of them are dead, that the ones that are still alive are dying to be like the ones that are dead. Some would kill for it.

What is syncopation? That's when the note that you should hear now happens either before or after you hear it. In jazz, you don't hear notes when they happen because that would be some other type of music. Other types of music can be jazz, but only if they're the same as something different from those other kinds.

Now I really don't understand. I haven't taught you enough for you to not understand jazz that well.

[Thank you, AllAboutJazz.com!]

Ruru the Guru -- a Ding-A-Ling in the Mind

San Francisco Yellow Pages, 1986: In the Yellow Pages that year you'd find listed "Third Ear Telepathic Answering Service" at 221-3333. If you called it you might hear this --

"Hello and thank you for calling Third Ear Telepathic Answering Service, the world's favorite telepathic answering service. All your friends and neighbors use it; and so do you!

"I am your Host and Operator Ruru the Guru, speaking to you direct from the Himalaya Hideaway.

"You know, the other day, I delivered a telepathic message to a guy in a big business meeting at the Bank of America building downtown ...

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